What I DO believe in

For me, little has changed since standing down from my christian faith. I still am as generous, as loving as before (maybe more so). I still know my bible as well, I can still speak in tongues (If I ever wanted to) I can still prophesy and can still twist my thinking to understand the Bible in a believers type of way. (This I can't do with any integrity).

The only difference that I can see are matters of faith. 

• My belief in Jesus to take away my sin. 
• I have no reliance on someone to take it for me. 
• I live with the consequences of my own wrongdoing. 
• I have no assurance of an after-life.
• I am enjoying my life before death. 
• I am living for now not aware of making provision for a vague future eternity, as was my custom.

Without a Christian gospel to tell me: -

• I am a sinner.
• I need my sins to be forgiven. 
• Jesus is the one who has already died on my behalf.
• To be forgiven I need to trust in his death and resurrection and ascension.
• then I too can enjoy my eternal life in Heaven with hIm.
• I will then be spared the punishment of Hell
• and the need to be burnt forever.

These are not difficulties for me.

Some friends have expressed sadness at my conclusions because of these 'accepted' facts. But they are not facts, not provable and not viable under scrutiny. Therefore I am not living under the shadow of my sin, God's death on my behalf etc etc..... I cannot say with any degree of certainty that there is no God but I can assert with a degree of conviction that the God of the Bible, the christian God (although even that concept varies dependant on which christian group you challenge) is not God. I guess these days I would be referred to as an agnostic. After extensive reading, studying and research on this subject, I am still no further forward. The proof for a god's existence is not strong enough. It really is a matter of faith. I don't know enough either way to make a categoric statement and am extremely suspicious of those who know 'without a shadow of a doubt'. This seems extremely arrogant to me. I am still exploring, still open to every conceivable possibility and happy stating that - I don't know. I am not sitting on the fence as some would argue, I'm not weak and feeble, unable to make my mind up. I am confident and fulfilled in my position. I cannot see how any sane free-thinking person can come to an open-minded, confident, categoric assertion that 'there is a God' or for that matter 'isn't a God.' 

I believe in the basic goodness of mankind.
I recognise that people often get it wrong and often from selfish ambition think of themselves rather than others. However I believe that human beings are mostly kind and good, not wicked and evil. I believe that we are born good and I reject the notion of original sin. I don’t believe that the first man – Adam - ate from a tree and therefore all creation (past, present and future) is therefore doomed and carries Adam’s punishment and separation from God.
I believe in the innocence of babies, not inherent sin and wickedness.
I believe that I am accountable for my own actions and not that some character, real of fictitious, in ancient past has sunken the universe into sin and therefore created a need for a saviour.

“How do you find meaning and value in life?”

I find meaning by being meaningful to others. 

I find fulfilment primarily by fulfilling others, which in turn fulfils me. 

I find purpose and value, not by searching frantically through the universe, but by quietly reaching inside and discovering it in and for myself. 

This desire to be meaningful is intrinsic to our human nature because of our altruism (selflessness), our empathy, and our natural social drive to find fulfilment and purpose in one another. 

We are a social species. We desire relationship. We love to group together.

That’s why I believe so many religious people have found solace and a purpose in religion, because they have transferred our basic human need for relationship and fulfilment into the imagined persona of a human-like deity who has thoughts, feelings and emotional desires. Humans all need to be loved and need to belong to something. They mostly always separate into groups to find relationships and to belong.

I consider that true beliefs are superior to false beliefs. I would love the world to be rid of its reliance on old myths and superstition. I would love the world to grow up and stop behaving like frightened children in fear of a vicious deity who wants to take out his wrath on a feeble cowering creation. 

I know that I have one life to live with no afterlife. Therefore, since my existence is such a precious commodity, I promote the ambition to cherish it and live life to the fullest.

I promote the separation of church and state by enforcing the rights of the often “voiceless minority” for whom democracy is supposed to fight for.

I promote science and education, as it enhances our lives, our well being, and fulfils our desire to know about our origins.

I promote a myriad of humanist goals, as we desire to make this world a better place, acknowledging the empathy and altruism that helps drive our human nature.

I promote indulgence in beauty, love, dignity, labour, music and art, and all good things that stir our hearts.

Although I do feel that I have been betrayed, often unintentionally, by a belief system that misrepresented the biblical God, I am thankful and excited about the future and where my honest inquiry will take me.  A full and wonderful life is still ahead, a life to be explored and enjoyed.

It's like I finally opened the door and walked outside for the first time. I now stand here in awe and realise that the horizon is limitless and that I am such a small speck in this great big world. A world where I can still love and find beauty and purpose in the vastness of our universe.

Despite common misconceptions, the beautiful thing is that we as humans are not limited to a specific god concept in order to find fulfilment, love, commitment, purpose and beauty in this life; these things I relish greatly; and when religion is removed from our worldview, then we can love just for the sake of loving. Not as a response to the supposed love of the deity. We can love with no strings attached unlike the God of the Bible that will shower his love on you as long as you believe, and will dismiss you to hell and eternal torment if you don’t love him.

I no longer have to view others as being in need of my salvation. 

I no longer have to condemn people to hell. 

I no longer have to possess an ulterior "eternal" motive in making new friends.  

I have more freedom not to judge others as evil or sinners for their unique dogma or contrary religious beliefs.

How our secular lives become more meaningful

I truly am loving life I live with the most likely conclusion that there probably isn't an afterlife. It makes every moment that I have here on this earth more valued, more meaningful and so much more precious. I don't believe in life after death, I believe in life before death! Just like enjoying a good book, even though I know it will end, I still can enjoy it for its sake alone and not for any supposed eternal value. Life is beautiful. What we do with our life, what we make of it and how we enjoy it can never be taken away. It becomes a part of what exists, adding to the value of the universe, like precious stones in a purse. Cherish every breath you take. It is my intention to live a good life and to die a good death, without any regrets.

Self Worth I reject the religious view that we are horrible, wretched sinners in need of a saviour. My realisation is that we are innocent of any cosmic crime. I believe and understand that the human spirit is full of hope, love and life. Religion says that your own goodness is like filthy rags and that you are useless and deprived, deserving of hellfire. Then, it attempts to make you dependent on its deity, like an addict dependent on drugs, for self-worth. Religion tears down the self-esteem of the individual in order to reconstruct it in such a way that their deity is now at the centre of that self-esteem.  

If you were released from prison for a horrible crime of which you were falsely accused, what would dignify you more: that you were simply pardoned, or that you were proven innocent of the crime in the first place? We are innocent of the crime! We are free! I don’t believe in original sin but original innocence, and purity.

Victory I am learning to see myself and all mankind as free from being inherently sinful, evil or weak, It then liberates me to maximize my self-esteem and to enhance my quality of life.  

When faced by evil tendencies, I can acknowledge and cure the disease instead of claiming something is wrong with the person (like being born with a sin-nature). We can rise above the negative influences of our ancestors and retain the good by choice. We stand on the shoulders of giants.

I believe that although humans make some mistakes, as a whole we make ourselves better people—people who don't have to be saved from a false curse that a deity placed on us. We can make this world a better place if we can stop subjecting ourselves to these ancient accusations.

Dignity I no longer have to accept or excuse away the biblical mistreatment of women, enslavement of our fellow man, genocide, cruelty to animals etc, and can now acknowledge the dignity of the human existence. All humans.

Responsibility I know that repenting and placing my sins on another is not enough. The Christian gospel claims that Jesus has done it all and we can have no part in our salvation; it is purely a gift from God. I am taking charge of my own life. It now overshadows the endless cycle of sin, sorrow, and then repentance. It is for me to bring about change in my life, It is for me alone to strive to improve my life and the life of those around me, because no one else is going to do it for us. To make it Jesus’ responsibility is to abdicate our own personal responsibility. 

It takes sweat and personal graft, and real decisions not prayers. I can do this in the knowledge that I am making a difference to those around me and to those generations that will follow as I stand on the shoulders of those who have gone before me. My sweat is not and never will be in vain. 

Impact I realize that my prayers alone were not going to magically fix suffering and pain. There are innocent children in parts of the world dying from lack of food and being abused by those stronger than them. To right these wrongs takes action, not begging a deity. I feel more motivated than ever to make a difference and take the initiative in lending a helping hand to those in need. I believe that we can change our world. Humankind has the ability to make lasting change.

Justice We hold justice in our own hands, and since we don't believe in a deity who will judge the whole world, we hold humanity to a higher standard of responsibility to look out for one another. We must strive to enforce justice for ourselves and not push off the responsibility on a supposed deity. I know that there is no sky-deity who can absolve me of my sins. Only myself and those I have wronged can forgive me.

Belief in Humanity When we stop attributing human achievement to a specific god and see the human spirit for all its beauty, the accomplishments of humanity should inspire us and give us a tremendous amount of faith and hope in our fellow man and our shared future.  I now realise that all of human accomplishments are the achievements of our humanity alone, which gives us more faith in our fellow men and ourselves.

Morality

I am no longer dependant on a deity for my morals. The God of the Bible may ask us to murder our own children or commit genocide or some other atrocious act. His morals therefore I find questionable anyway. I would rather be good for goodness sake alone -- not because someone is making me to do it. We can own our morality and we can acknowledge the very essence of morality coming from within our humanity and its intrinsic nature to humans, which has evolved into a caring, loving, and inclusive standard of living.  Because we are empathetic and "we see our own reflection in the faces of others," we can confidently state, without a deity, that we must always do the least amount of harm to the most amount of people.  

All religions have borrowed the GOLDEN RULE and adapted in some shape or form but all societies broadly agree with the Golden Rule and attempt to live by it.

“One should treat others as one would want to be treated by others”

Likewise and as a compliment the Silver Rule adds to its content and are sound rules for all mankind to live by.

“Don’t treat others as you wouldn’t want to be treated by others”

Peace When we realize that we are free, liberated from any cosmic crime, fear, or risk of eternal torment or punishment. It brings peace and a sense of true peace not dependant on another, but a perfect rest. I am free of all accusation. 

Values With no specific religion to impart meaning on which to fall back, we then become freer to enjoy life and to cherish those we love so dearly because they are all we have. We are more loyal to and depend more completely on those cherished relationships and passions that give us meaning and purpose.

Knowledge When we become free from trying to twist reality to fit a belief system and cram predetermined beliefs from ancient books about our origins into newly discovered science, then we can truly and fully explore all materialistic and natural explanations without reserve. The universe is vast and full of mysteries waiting to be discovered.  I am enjoying learning new things and beginning to discover the world around me with my eyes open and not blinkered by 4000 years old of restricted religious prejudice.

Influence: When we realise that this life is not a rehearsal but you only get one run at it, we become more motivated to make it count and desire to live more honourably out of self-dignity and compassion for our fellow man. Like the butterfly effect, we know that each action we take creates a chain-reaction that influences and changes the world forever. We humans have found beauty in chaos and purpose in mystery. Like a pebble dropped into a still lake, the ripples of our life will live on and on.

I have found such joy and freedom. I have realised that what I thought I had lost never really existed in the first place, and I am free to explore and discover the true nature of existence in all its fullness, grandeur and beauty.

Secular non-religion has brought me great freedom. 

Not the freedom to do only as I please, but 

the freedom to act in a way that is globally pleasing, 

the freedom to see the world as it truly is and 

the freedom to wallow in the vastness of this universe.  

It is the freedom to be intellectually honest, 

the freedom to think for myself.



Thanks to Jason Testerman for using his template
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Why-I-am-no-Longer-a-Christian/260981187327378

About me

There are two main drivers for this blog. Firstly it is for me, so that I can clearly articulate why I have renounced my religion and also to help friends and relatives who can’t understand how I have come to my current position and I believe are genuinely worried for me. 

I am not attempting to persuade anyone to change their way of life or to (un)convert them. I am not making an effort to gain friends. This is purely an attempt to allay fears (not likely) and an attempt to explain why? (hopefully)

The position that I now hold doesn’t have a promise of paradise, it doesn’t have an after-life, or a saviour that can save me from a fiery hell where I will burn forever. I have no one to be a scapegoat for me on which my own wrongdoing can be cast. I am responsible before all else, for my own actions and the decisions I make, I am responsible for me. I have nowhere to hide and no-one to hide behind any more. This is about me being honest with myself and others, and saying it as I see it. If you think that I am out to convert you or to un-convert a friend, just consider for a moment… This is not a very appealing ‘gospel’ I'm proclaiming. It’s not a position that will win many converts, it’s not an easy road that I have taken.  In fact I have lost friends and acquaintances I have lost the social gatherings, I have seriously depleted the network that I used to work within. I have hampered conversations and communication with old friends. I no longer have an outlet for sharing deep meaningful thoughts. Its been costly in many ways but, I am true to myself, my integrity is intact and I am more at peace than I have been for a long while. That, for me, is of utmost importance. I can breathe fresh air and honestly declare my position, my position of uncertainty.  As I look back I was unhappily contented and confident in what I considered to be truth. I am now happily contented and uncertain of anything. I am now at a stage where I look forward to the next part of my journey through life. So let me reassure you this is not a tool to convert you to my form of spirituality.

If I offend you or your beliefs please forgive me. It is not my intention and not what I hope to do. I approach this with a humble attitude. I will hopefully show why I have ‘lost my faith’ or more accurately decided that the Christian faith (whatever that is?) is not for me and therefore why I am no longer a Christian.

Please understand that I don’t want to come over as judgemental, condemning or negative. The steps that I describe here are the most difficult that I have ever taken in my life. I wanted more than anything to believe in the Christian God. I have spent the past 40 years of my life proclaiming salvation through faith in the death, resurrection and ascension of Jesus Christ. This is about my walk, my experience, and my journey.

I have studied the Bible for many years, have graduated from a training program for pastors / teachers, been a, Missionary, Sunday School Teacher, Worship leader, Associate Pastor, preacher,  evangelist and been a church planter. I have taught the tenets of Christianity and tackled the difficult passages and had a reputation for being able to preach with conviction and with power. I have had faith and held it with conviction and fervour. I was a Christian for 25 years, was brought up in a Christian home and at the age of 18 rebelled against my upbringing. At 25 I decided to follow Jesus for myself and embraced all the above activities in several local churches with true belief and honesty. I knew my salvation and placed my complete trust in Jesus to save me. I was saved. 

Now this in itself will offend many. A simple google search will prove, depending on your interpretation of scripture that, I wasn’t saved in the first place, or that I am now doomed forever, or I am still saved but just in denial. Which is it? 

Preachers, as demonstrated with a simple google search can point to different scriptures to push their own view of what God is actually saying in his word. 

Similar use of the ‘word of God’ is applied to many different arguments. I question whether the unambiguous word of God has any definitive argument on anything or is it always open to interpretation? Is it there to be applied to your current situation and interpreted by the spirit for that given purpose? With that approach then the outworking would be just what we see in the Christian church today…. Countless sects / denominations all majoring on one aspect or one particular doctrine. All praying for unity but all holding dear to their pet doctrines at the expense of all else. The Christian church of today has arrived at its current doctrinal position after 2000 years of refinement and affirmation of many foundational doctrines. Many church fathers were persecuted or excommunicated or even worse, killed, sometimes in the cruelest fashion because they dared to disagree with the most vocal of their 'brothers'. They were tried and found guilty of heresy because they dared to interpret the scriptures in a different way to others. It seems that the Holy Spirit has always been divided and has interpreted scripture in several ways through time. It is often by the sword or by some other form of torture that the ‘christian truth’ has prevailed. Doctrines such as the trinity, eternal torment, the nature of sin, believers baptism etc etc. (It could be a very long list) have all been fought over to prevent disagreement and disunity in the Christian church and it was not uncommon for the minority to be slaughtered for their beliefs as they were seen as heretical and very dangerous to the might and power of the church leaders. Mostly the church fathers were against death for heresy but excommunication gave a green light to the political powers to act where the church would not.

As we continue to look at these matters together please be consistent and hold the same standard of scrutiny to your own faith as you hold to all others. Most of us have to step away from our presuppositions in order to examine them objectively.  I wanted to believe in the Christian God, I wanted him to be a good god, but you will see below that when I dug deep in the bible I found things that no moral being I could ever respect would ever do. 

We assess others by what they do, not by what they “say” about themselves, not by the books they write, or what they simply claim to be.  Actions speak louder than words, and below you will see the actions of the biblical God that forced me to reconsider my position and reluctantly the position that I had preached and held dear to myself. It has been like a waking up.

After my announcement that I no longer believed, someone said to me that I had got it all wrong and they wanted to jolt me from my error and be restored to their position of faith. I was told to 'wake up and smell the coffee'. The funny thing is, that is exactly what has happened to me. I have woken up, smelt the coffee and risen from my slumber.

Rob Pattison 1st August 2013

Introduction to this blog

As I get older I am becoming increasingly aware of how little time I have on this earth. I am eager to enjoy every second and to waste none. I have seen my priorities change and adapt as I find myself more eager than ever to seek for truth. Many people will stand with me and consider that to be a very worthwhile aim. However, even though we may stand together as 'brothers in arms', when it comes to challenging all that we've been taught as children, all that we have accepted in adulthood, all that our culture holds as core values, then suddenly the world can become a very scary place. When contemplating the meaning of life and the reason or purpose of our lives, often we share what is actually a natural reaction and shrink back into our shells where we feel safe and much less vulnerable. A place where we are prepared to settle with what we've been fed for the semblance of a false security and a comfortable life.
For me personally, I have been blessed (although some may see it as a curse) with a desire to get to the truth. I will risk being shot down for the sake of doing what I perceive to be right. I have often found myself in sticky situations because I have this self-destruct challenge for what I perceive to be wrong or mis-leading. I have never been labelled a sheep, but have instead been called a bull elephant. My way has always been to challenge the accepted norms  or at least to gain a reason for a long accepted behaviour and force through, even against the odds, to a place that sits more comfortably with my world view. I remember back in 1994 being called a bull elephant and being told that my nature was to force a way through the undergrowth with a chevron of similar minds in tow. I don't know about that, but I do seem to rustle a few feathers (maybe leaves) every now and then.
I write this with a particular type of person in mind, someone just like me. Someone who has left the religion of their parents and now finds themselves in a big scary new world almost as a foreigner. It causes them to rethink their entire world view. It causes them to look at all aspects of life as their structure and protective, easy life where values and prescribed thought patterns are now stripped away. The decisions that are made daily are no longer as a result of faith, but simply fashioned and powered by careful calculation and not by a pre-determined overview. All this, whilst struggling with relationships due to this fundamental change. Whilst suddenly feeling insecure in most aspects of life and whilst wrestling with all the alternative world views and ways of life as practised around them. It's not that they want to cause angst to any that they love or live with, but simply a conscience clearing exercise that can no longer be ignored. These people have to assess every aspect of life that before was a given and suddenly has become negotiable again. Where do they now fit into the world around them?

Let me state at the outset of this blog that I have no desire to unsettle any reader. This blog is aimed at those who, like me, want to discover truth. I can speak from personal experience that it may cost you dearly in many different ways but pursuit of truth for me is far more important than keeping face and not 'rocking the boat'. I understand that some might feel anxious at just the suggestion that everything you have based your life on is maybe not as rock-solid as you have always been led to believe and always held onto for comfort, security and future hope. I respect those feelings, and I honestly do understand your position. History shows that we have an inbuilt human characteristic to defend our homestead and family and way of life. We want to defend that, into which we have poured our lives and loyalty. You might fear that if you start to let your guard down, your loyalties may crumble, and I understand your reserve; but, surely the reality of truth cannot be shaken, and surely God understands our questions anyway. He, most of all, would not be afraid of our searching. This is actually a 'win - win' situation for each of us. If God is truth then your eventual discovery will confirm your beliefs and you will confirm all that you hold dear. If your current position is proved to be false, you will be released from error and embark on a pursuit of truth. I believe that if there is a God? then he would have you seeking honest answers to difficult questions. He would want you to not be bound up in deception. Either that, or he is not the kind of God that I would want to serve or acknowledge anyway.

When I began this phase of my life I was told “whatever you are into now, I will not follow you. You may be correct but I will not follow you because I have too much to lose.” I really do understand this position too. I'm not looking for converts or for any followers. This blog is not meant to persuade you or anyone else of my position. It's not meant to get you to abandon your faith and join me in some kind of non-religious non-religion or in some kind of non-churchy church type thing. I simply want to put what I have discovered, out there, giving my readers information that is often hushed or never spoken about. I feel it important to lay out all opinions and all the facts thereby giving the whole truth to readers. I am convinced that if informed with all the facts then free-thinking people will be released into a new kind of freedom. I suppose I am hoping that this blog will be a help to people like me who were or still are genuinely 'a Christian', but find that their faith has been taken back or that they have now begun to question the very things that they have built there lives upon. I do believe that a person can be an ex-christian. I think it is possible for a 'believer' to become an agnostic or atheist. Many teach that this is not possible. In my experience it is.

When I became a Christian I alienated people (friends and family). I took on strange customs (Baptism, Lord’s supper(Holy Communion), endless meetings with God’s people (Church Meetings)) and my values changed. Most of my friends didn’t understand why I had chosen such a path. It had become a serious step in my life that crossed the line of a weekly attendance at church and had progressed to being something that affected my whole life. My friends wanted to understand, but for them this was a step too far. I lost friends and alienated family for the sake of my religion. I chose God and the church over them, and therefore paid the price for my single-mindedness. This has been a common theme throughout my life and the crux of the matter. Any change of life emphasis may be costly. I have so much that I could lose over this simple step of renouncement that it has been the most difficult step that I have ever taken. I have feared for my marriage and my family and my friends etc. and having counted the cost, I still have to go with my conscience. It is of great importance to me, to live life openly and fully and for my conscience to be clear and settled, even if I still have many unanswered questions.

Sometimes in life you have to bury your feelings for the sake of others. On the contrary, some times in life you have to risk all else and stand up for what you believe in. For me this step is about being true to self and honest with all I meet. I am exploring. I am discovering new things and I am eager to continue doing so. Life seems exciting and challenging once again. For the first time in 25 years I haven’t got things all sorted in my life. On the contrary, I have set sail on a voyage of discovery. I don’t know which lands I will discover, I don’t know which oceans I’ll be drifting in. But I know this, that this journey of life will always be exciting and always challenging and I'll always be living on the edge.

Long live freedom and uncertainty. What an adventure.

Rob Pattison 1st August 2013